Dominants suffer from depression too

Dominants are strong, powerful people. We’re in control all of the time. We’ve a sharp mind and an inherent ability to read and understand the needs of our submissives. At least that’s the common view.

The reality is that we’re as fragile as the rest of humanity. Of course we’re self-assured and confident to the outside world, but we can be as susceptible to self-doubt as anyone else. Yet to admit these things can make us seem weak and vulnerable, particularly if it involves mental illness.

My own experience of suffering from depression has occasionally left me in a vulnerable state where I’ve been open to being taken advantage of. When I was younger and less confident about who I was there were times people I knew used my perceived weakness to their own advantage. It made me cynical and hard skinned.

Today I still have occasional bouts of depression. Through experience I’ve learnt to recognise their onset and keep a rational part of me awake and alert. My coping strategies are tiring though and I will become quite short with people. Hence I tend to go quiet for a few days while I work my way through it.

That said, for me the fetish world is a relief from the spiral. I tend to become more engaged when I’m on the slide as I generally find the positive reinforcement from submissives and the open discussions about something as personal as my sexuality empowering and helpful. Indeed I’ve been known to block almost everything else out for a few days just to get back on track.

What is frustrating sometimes is the perception amongst some that Dominants should be perfect and fully formed, when we’re just people too. Any sign of weakness is perceived as being proof you’re not a “real” Sir. These kinds of criticisms can reinforce the downward spiral when it comes. Ignoring them is not always possible when you’re in a negative frame of mind.

Ultimately I think it comes down to coping strategies. For me keeping that little light of positivity burning so I can focus on it helps, and fetish has been a key part of that.

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About Razz

I'm a creative dominant type with a love of BDSM and fetishism. This blog is an outlet, so don't take anything you see or read too seriously.

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