“I’ve got no limits.” How often have you read that in an eMail on a profile or in a forum? It seems as if some wield this statement as a badge of honour, proclaiming it as if a potential Mistress or Master will swoon when they hear those words.
Let’s review that statement though.
What does “no limits” mean?
For the submissive they might be attempting to imply they have truly entered into slavery. Their wants and needs are surrendered to their Dominant and whatever limits they may have are discounted as secondary or unimportant. They may also imply that they are somehow so strong as a submissive that they can take whatever “punishment” or abuse the Dominant can hand out. In their worldview being a submissive who has “no limits” makes them more attractive to a Dominant than one who has boundaries, fetishes and limitations that need to be satisfied.
Is this the case though? I’ve been approached in the past by submissives claiming to have “no limits” who, when pressed, quickly discover them. Earlier in the year, when I was playing with the idea of doing a full on torture scene, I had various approaches from would-be victims who claimed to be interested, yet soon realised what would happen wasn’t their idea of what “no limits” meant. The idea of being beaten appealed, but some of the other techniques I wanted to explore (from extreme verbal humiliation to stress positions to white noise) were not within what they considered a scene to involve. Unwittingly they had created limits for themselves, only hidden them away in a fantasy that had evolved into “Leather Master beating me until I cry”.
I’m not sure I can blame them for this. We construct fantasies to please ourselves and gain some escape and enjoyment from whatever passes as real life. In their fantasy world perhaps they do genuinely see themselves as being pure slaves, subjected to whatever torments come their way. Only what they’ve missed is they are always in control. The limits are implied in their fantasies by virtue of the fact they are the ones creating them. They may dream of intense beatings and pain, but these are just dreams created in an imagination that is far removed from reality.
When a submissive approaches you and says, “I have no limits” what should you do? Take them to their word and beat them to within an inch of their life? Ignore them because they’re obviously a fake? I’d suggest treat them like any other submissive. Explore their fantasies. Uncover their weaknesses and strengths. Teach them to learn more about themselves and discover where their limits really lie.
And if you’re a submissive who claims to have “no limits”? I’d suggest drop the attitude, look inside you and challenge yourself to understand what that claim really means. A submissive who has self-awareness is far more attractive than one who is wrapped in bravado and foolishness.
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