No one reads your Fetlife Profile

Posted in commentary on Friday, 24th January 2020

My Fetlife profile used to say I only accept friends requests from people I’ve met. After posting an image I’ll invariably get a friend request. It gets ignored. Once in a while I get a shitty message about how aloof I am. Under my breath I mutter “should’ve read my profile”.

People don’t read profiles.

If doesn’t matter what we write in them, profiles aren’t read. It’s far too easy to click on a profile and hit “Add to Friends” without thinking about it. Anyway, why bother reading a profile when you just what they’re into on that profile you loved?

The Heavy Rubber Widower

After his wife dies, a rubberist finds himself alone. Will he discover a new love with his wife's best friend?

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Fetlife could help out.

Fetlife has tried to mitigate this problem with its “Follow” feature. This lets people stalk / follow you without becoming a friend. It means they see your update, but you’re not troubled with theirs.

Moving the “Add to Friends” button further down the profile may help. It might soften the urge some people have to collect friends in favour of a follow.

It would also be useful to have something that lets us categorise our friends and limit what we share to certain groups. This is the main reason why I prefer not to accept every friend request I receive.

How about messages?

Messaging is another place where this could help. At the moment you can message who you like, leading to some uncomfortable and awkward encounters. Having the option to limit messaging to friends would be far safer and more enjoyable for those of us interested in quality rather than quantity.

Until then, keep ignoring the requests

Sadly, it seems these features won’t appear any time soon. Until then the only advice I can offer is to keep rolling your eyes when someone hasn’t read your profile.

Mostly dominant with a love of BDSM and fetishism. This blog is an outlet, so don't take anything you see or read too seriously.

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