I’ve meant to do a shoot like this for months. Every time I think I’ve made time, something comes up to stop me. A client project, a cold, some other demand on my time. It all leads to the same place. Frustration must be pushed down so I can focus. Weeks became months. Next thing I knew more than a year had passed.
My experience is when you’ve got a fetish, not indulging it builds stress. It’s important to us, an integral part of our identity that we can’t easily express because society doesn’t understand. The longer we suppress our fetish, the more frustration builds. We can’t be us, and that is hard emotionally.
By day she's an account clerk with a boring job and an abusive boss. At night she's a latex clad cam-girl. The two worlds are about to collide.
Finally, I reached the point something had to give. It was either my sanity or blocking a chunk of time and telling other people to leave me alone. The latter seemed more sustainable.
A day in latex was blocked, added to be diary, and a plan formed. It’s over a year since I last did a self-shoot. Now that my time as a fetish photographer is pretty much over, these are likely to be the only shoots I do. They’re fun (for me) and a great way to relax.
A routine for self-photography
The routine is simple: put on latex, set up tripod and lights, self-timer and burst shoot on camera, do my best Kate Moss impression. Like any shoot I do, of the 100 or so shots I’ll take there are a dozen I feel OK with, half that I’ll share.
More important than any photos is I feel like I have restored some balance. Stress has reduced significantly. My creativity is back. Tinky’s noticed I’m back to my easy going self.
There’s a lesson here I keep forgetting to learn. Don’t leave it for so long. Don’t ignore a fundamental part of who I am in the hope it’ll all work out.
Rather than leave it to chance, I’ve scheduled my next day in latex. See you again in a few weeks.