Writing the perfect social media fetish profile
Writing a fetish profile is a labour of love for some, a terrifying ordeal for others. On Fetlife you can write entire novels, on Twitter you have less than 150 characters.
So how do you get those words onto the page.
First, be natural. Write what you feel rather than trying to conform to some preordained “winning format”.
Don’t think you have to write something and that’s it. You can rewrite it as often as you want.
Finally, don’t forget few people read profiles. You’re better off investing time in networking, sharing blog posts and being a participant in a community than fretting over a few words on a page.
Fakes and flakes and swipe right profiles
The pressure to stand out in an age of "swipe right" has led many to use old, heavily photoshopped or even fake profile photos.
You don’t need to find a “mistress” to indulge your fetishes
Having a fetish doesn't mean you have to be alone. Nor does hiring a sex worker mean you have to go with a professional dominatrix.
I considered doing a male photoshoot.
Posts tentative casting call.
Opens first half dozen emails.
Deletes casting calls.
Goes and has shower in bleach.
Don’t let someone else’s writing upset your kinky Mental Health
Wrapping yourself up in knots over the latest writing about your fetish isn't good for your mental health. Relax. Unwind. Enjoy it for what it is.
Every fetishist should do a few selfies
Selfies can be awesome. They remind you of fond memories, happy times, people you enjoyed being with. How you enjoyed your fetishes.
I’ve done a few. I’ve loaded up my camera on a tripod, set the timer and run like hell to adopt “the perfect pose”. It’s a mix of freaking awesome and intense frustration. The results can be amazing or rubbish.
It doesn’t matter.
All that matters is for a few minutes you can capture those moments when you were happy in your fetish.
Does BDSM race play empower racists?
An encounter with a white supremacist forum on BDSM race play awakened an uncomfortable question. Our games may be consensual, but do they empower racists?
Sometimes things don’t go quite the way you expect
Things don't always go the way you want. Now our plans are in tatters we've found smiling is helping us work through our problems and move forwards.
Be thankful for the unsung heroes of the kink community
The BDSM community is underpinned by a network of contributors and supporters whose efforts are often unrecognised. An army of volunteers, activists, educators, bloggers and creatives toil endless hours to help promote the scene as a safe and welcoming place. Some progress to become “celebrities”, a few find a living from their kinks. Most are unrecognised and unrewarded.
Their hard work is what allows fetish clubs, workshops, websites and safe spaces to exist. Their investment of time, energy and money makes these things to happen so we can all enjoy them.
Instead of beating up these unsung heroes because we didn’t like event x or they have a paywall on their site, let’s celebrate their efforts. Let’s acknowledge their hard work, even if it doesn’t quite resonate with our particular brand of kinkiness.
Without these great people I for one would not have had the opportunities to grow my fetishes and find happiness.
Fetishists: stop hiding behind your lists of likes
Fetishists looking for a partner sometimes put up lists of likes and dislikes. This rarely works. Far better to start engaging with people on Social Media
22 Different ways to use a traffic cone as part of a BDSM scene
The next time you’re stuck in roadworks don’t despair. Those pesky plastic traffic cones that litter lanes and block off exits have many practical uses in the dungeon, playroom or just BDSM life in general. Here are 22 different ways that you can put a traffic cone to good use on your submissive or slave: […]
Finding the courage to appear on webcam
Submissives can be afraid of appearing on webcam. If there is trust in the relationship it can be fun and rewarding to submit on camera.