Articles on the BDSM lifestyle
Online dating has become the way for those in the BDSM community to meet potential partners. Countless sites have sprung up offering dates, profiles and social networks specifically targeted at kinksters, fetishists and SM fans.
It’s a pure hobby for me. Something creative to take my mind off the hassles of a stressful working life.
I’ll spend weeks building up to it. I keep telling myself “I’m going to wear the catsuit, I’m going to wear the catsuit.”
Dominants are strong, powerful people. We’re in control all of the time. We’ve a sharp mind and an inherent ability to read and understand the needs of our submissives. At least that’s the common view.
There’s a long standing joke about using a gas mask when you have a cold in order to protect everyone else. I figured I’d give it a try.
Sharing your life with someone vanilla can be frustrating. Whether they’re a partner, a flat mate or a lodger, there is a certain fear associated with being discovered that can make it difficult to satisfy a fetish. Leaving latex clothing out to dry leaves strong odours, self-bondage sessions risk discovery and self-flagellation is not as satisfying as being dominated.
The past few months have been hard for me. The UK’s decision to leave the EU has had a profound and quite damaging impact on my business, which I’ve been struggling to cope with. I got locked into a downward spiral that no amount of hard work could pull me out of.
I was reflecting on a conversation with a potential girlfriend a couple or more years ago. Having initially said she loved my photography and thought I was very talented and poured much praise on me I was told that a condition of our “being together” would be that I would have to stop.
“Do you need to impress slaves?”
How often have you seen that cry on your timeline? A Mistress complains that another has started following their followers, perhaps contacting them directly, maybe even convincing one or two to change allegiance. Sometimes the cries can become so loud that the most dedicated of followers can gang up on the newcomer, threaten them or even drive them off of Twitter completely.
You open your inbox and what’s the first thing you see? A message from someone you don’t know of their genitals. You sigh. You hit delete. You rant on Twitter.
In a previous post on working with the press I suggested having a set of high quality images ready to share with a journalist would make their life easier. Just as blogs and publications are endlessly hunting for stories, so they are also looking for the images to go with them. An interview subject who can present eye catching images to go with their words not only increases their chances of being published, their contribution will also take on more impact.
Marks are an inevitable part of bondage photography. The rope compresses the skin and leaves a criss-cross of patterns that trace where the bonds once secures the model. To many of us these marks have their own appeal and with our partners and bunnies we may aim to leave a mark for a few hours, maybe a few days, as a reminder of the fun we had.
Rape is an abhorrent crime, and those who commit it deserve the full wrath of our judicial system. It leaves victims traumatised for decades and can have a destructive impact not only on their life, but also the lives of those around them. Quite simply it should not happen.
Aftercare is an oft forgotten element of BDSM. We think so much about what happens during our scenes that sometimes we forget about what takes place afterwards. Yet aftercare, at least to me, is an important component of what can make a scene memorable and enjoyable.
Twenty-odd years ago, when I was in my late teens and early twenties, if you asked me to define my sexuality I would have said I was a “rubber slave”. Like many men I’d paid to be dominated because it seemed like the only way to experience my fetish, only my heart wasn’t really in it. Yes, I wanted to be with a woman while in rubber, but the “being dominated” bit always sat a little uncomfortably. So much so that twice I asked the Mistresses I saw if they would school me as a Master.
My article on Financial Domination was well received as it presented an even handed and balanced view of a growing fetish. For those who practice it the experience can be rewarding and enjoyable and as such I believe it is as valid as any other kink that we in the BDSM community enjoy.
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