Be thankful for the unsung heroes of the kink community
The BDSM community is underpinned by a network of contributors and supporters whose efforts are often unrecognised. An army of volunteers, activists, educators, bloggers and creatives toil endless hours to help promote the scene as a safe and welcoming place. Some progress to become “celebrities”, a few find a living from their kinks. Most are unrecognised and unrewarded.
Their hard work is what allows fetish clubs, workshops, websites and safe spaces to exist. Their investment of time, energy and money makes these things to happen so we can all enjoy them.
Instead of beating up these unsung heroes because we didn’t like event x or they have a paywall on their site, let’s celebrate their efforts. Let’s acknowledge their hard work, even if it doesn’t quite resonate with our particular brand of kinkiness.
Without these great people I for one would not have had the opportunities to grow my fetishes and find happiness.
Fetishists: stop hiding behind your lists of likes
Fetishists looking for a partner sometimes put up lists of likes and dislikes. This rarely works. Far better to start engaging with people on Social Media
22 Different ways to use a traffic cone as part of a BDSM scene
The next time you’re stuck in roadworks don’t despair. Those pesky plastic traffic cones that litter lanes and block off exits have many practical uses in the dungeon, playroom or just BDSM life in general. Here are 22 different ways that you can put a traffic cone to good use on your submissive or slave: […]
Finding the courage to appear on webcam
Submissives can be afraid of appearing on webcam. If there is trust in the relationship it can be fun and rewarding to submit on camera.
A voice from the past needs help
Someone I once knew wanted to meet up again for "old times sake". My response was as much about needing to care for my own wellbeing as concerns about hers
Updating the website (again)
The site design has been refreshed again. Find out what I've done, why and how I'm keeping an eye on the UK "porn ban".
A slave with no limits?
Slaves will sometimes claim they have "no limits". When you encounter this in BDSM approach with caution. It's a potentially harmful situation.
My photography in 2019
I want to change the way I photograph. Sure, I’ll work with models. Maybe more than I did in ’18.
Only I want to spend less time in the studio, more time working with “real” people.
I want to document.
I want to capture couples enjoying their fetish.
Mistresses rewarding their slaves.
Masters binding their submissives.
Love deserves to be documented and shared, particularly when it is seen as subversive and damaging by a moral minority who do not understand the complexities of human nature.
I use a sex doll
No, really. I have an inflatable sex doll.
Now, before I get accused of over sharing, let me explain WHY I have an inflatable sex doll…
I practice bondage on it.
Before I walk into a studio I will practice on the sex doll to make sure my ties are right, I know which bit of rope is going where and that I’m not putting too much pressure on joints and muscles.
Which I know sounds daft, but it is just how damned committed I am to taking good shots!
New gear for a new submissive
Your huge collection of BDSM gear might not be as attractive to a new partner as you thought. A new collection might be needed for a new relationship.
29 tips for dominants in the BDSM dating scene
If you identify as dominant and are wondering where all the submissives are, try these BDSM dating tips to find genuine submissive men and women.
The joy of cock and ball torture
Tormenting a man's genitals can be rewarding and highly enjoyable. Don't rely on pain for your CBT - there are other ways of hurting them.