Hypocrisy is everywhere in BDSM
You just need to scratch the surface of the BDSM scene and you find hypocrisy:
“My fetish is OK, but yours is just weird”
We’re all guilty of it, but you know what – so what. We do it all the time and it helps us make sense of the world without our heads imploding.
When you see someone displaying a kink you don’t get just check yourself for a moment. Remember they might be looking at you and wondering WTAF too.
“Dad, what’s all this stuff?”
Prompted by a post on a Fetlife Forum, the question was “how do you tell your daughter what all that rubberwear is in the wardrobe.” One of my twins went hunting for a laptop charger and discovered a wardrobe full of bondage gear and latex. Immediate reaction was “oh shit” from her, followed by “never mention […]
Be wary of the dominant who emails first
If you approach a Dom/me then being asked for a tribute before conversations go further is cool.
But if a Dom/me pops up out of nowhere and starts demanding cash then you have every right to decline, disengage and look elsewhere.
Because being submissive doesn’t mean you have to be walked over or taken advantage of by everyone calling themselves “Mistress” or “Sir”
I dream of abuse and torture. Is there something wrong with me?
Every now and then stories emerge in the media that shock and horrify us. Abu Ghraib, Josef Fritzl, the North Korean regime, there are events, people and places that shock us and question how a civilised society can allow such things to happen. As the true horror of the events emerge, often over days and […]
How I returned to shooting after a few months away
It’s been a few months since I last did a photoshoot. Quite a few months, in fact nearly three quarters of a year. So when I decided I was going to get back into the groove it took a bit of thinking, planning and the help of a great model. I’ve worked with Fiona before: […]
Once, a long time ago, I had the pleasure of calling her “Mistress”. She helped me discover what I was and what I was really looking for.
Thank you, Mistress.
My encounter with a victim of domestic abuse
In my youth, as I was exploring my dominant side, I encountered a woman who frightened the life out of me. We dated for about four weeks and in that time I seriously questioned whether BDSM was right, whether an abuser was lurking inside me and how I was going to cope if things went […]
A beginner’s guide to negotiating a BDSM scene
While some of the “BDSM” erotica suggests all you have to do is put two people in a room with whips and chains the truth is far removed from that. Agreeing to play together can be a daunting prospect for both new and experienced players alike. There are questions about what sort of things should […]
Sex and BDSM : the two can go together
It’s a feature of much of Western society that we have a binary culture. Our worldview is formed of things that conform to definitions and anything that varies in any way is defined as “not that”. Hence we have male and female without acknowledging those who lie between and a mixed race person is “black” […]
How do you ‘follow’ someone on Twitter without the world knowing you’re kinky?
Sometimes following people on Twitter isn’t the most appropriate thing for you to do. Whilst you might like the images or tweets that someone puts out it could be that having a flood of porno pics and discussions about the best way to wear latex on your timeline causes more problems than it solves. One […]
Why do fetishists feel the urge to purge?
One of the quirks of the fetishist is the occasional desire to purge. Sometimes we wake up, take a look in our wardrobe and decide all that expensive rubberwear, TV costumes, bondage gear or whatever is our fetish has to be disposed of. We need it gone from our lives. We need to feel “normal” […]
Turkish : gagged
A thick ball gag stretching the jaw may not silence the submissive, but it will remind her of her place.