Don’t let someone else’s writing upset your kinky Mental Health
Wrapping yourself up in knots over the latest writing about your fetish isn't good for your mental health. Relax. Unwind. Enjoy it for what it is.
Every fetishist should do a few selfies
Selfies can be awesome. They remind you of fond memories, happy times, people you enjoyed being with. How you enjoyed your fetishes.
I’ve done a few. I’ve loaded up my camera on a tripod, set the timer and run like hell to adopt “the perfect pose”. It’s a mix of freaking awesome and intense frustration. The results can be amazing or rubbish.
It doesn’t matter.
All that matters is for a few minutes you can capture those moments when you were happy in your fetish.
My weekly Fetlife friend-not-friend
It happens about once a week. A certain person, who shall remain nameless, likes an image and then asks to become bosom buddies on Fetlife. No message, just a friends request. I decline.
To be fair, I decline most friends requests as I’m not in that game. There’s a “Follow” button you can use. Otherwise I’m a choosy bugger.
I don’t block him. He’s done nothing wrong bar not read a profile. I’m not that much of a bastard. So I decline his request and wait another week.
Wonder if I’ll miss him when he finally gives up?
EL James has triggered another round of shallow “try BDSM” articles
As EL James' latest novel hits the virtual bookshelves, another round of BDSM themed articles has started to emerge. Most are as bad her novels.
I am an arse!
One of the problems with clearing out the old site is I lost track of some of my images. As a consequence, I’ve accidentally shared the same image more than once.
Apologies and I will try and do better.
When TFP meant something different to a pro-domme
A contact from a pro-domme asking for a shoot to build her website went in an unexpected direction. Perhaps TFP means something different to a dominatrix?
Does BDSM race play empower racists?
An encounter with a white supremacist forum on BDSM race play awakened an uncomfortable question. Our games may be consensual, but do they empower racists?
Apparently this needs saying (again)
None of the models on this site are my wife.
Nor have I dominated them, played with or shagged them.
Sometimes things don’t go quite the way you expect
Things don't always go the way you want. Now our plans are in tatters we've found smiling is helping us work through our problems and move forwards.
Be thankful for the unsung heroes of the kink community
The BDSM community is underpinned by a network of contributors and supporters whose efforts are often unrecognised. An army of volunteers, activists, educators, bloggers and creatives toil endless hours to help promote the scene as a safe and welcoming place. Some progress to become “celebrities”, a few find a living from their kinks. Most are unrecognised and unrewarded.
Their hard work is what allows fetish clubs, workshops, websites and safe spaces to exist. Their investment of time, energy and money makes these things to happen so we can all enjoy them.
Instead of beating up these unsung heroes because we didn’t like event x or they have a paywall on their site, let’s celebrate their efforts. Let’s acknowledge their hard work, even if it doesn’t quite resonate with our particular brand of kinkiness.
Without these great people I for one would not have had the opportunities to grow my fetishes and find happiness.
Fetishists: stop hiding behind your lists of likes
Fetishists looking for a partner sometimes put up lists of likes and dislikes. This rarely works. Far better to start engaging with people on Social Media
I wrote some really bad erotica. You’ll thank me for it
In a moment of boredom I set about writing flash erotic fiction. The end result was dire, even worse than 50 Shades of Grey. It'll be a big seller.