What's new?BDSM Safety

The latest images, musings and ebooks...

Lifestyle

A slave with no limits?

Ebony dominatrix holds her submissive girls head up

Slaves will sometimes claim they have “no limits”. When you encounter this in BDSM approach with caution. It’s a potentially harmful situation.

Lifestyle

Why safe words are an important part of BDSM

Slave girl cries as she is whipped

Safewords are an important part of BDSM. When your submissive calls theirs, there is no need to panic. Just work through the issue and make her feel safe.

Lifestyle

Avoiding rope burns in bondage

How to avoid rope burn in BDSM

Rope burns are not an inevitable part of bondage. If you’re careful and thoughtful there’s no reason to burn or mark your submissive. Here’s how.

Commentary

No limits

How to avoid rope burn in BDSM

I’ve seen this pop up more than a few times. “No limits,” says the submissive. Neil likes his women tall, slim and blonde. But when he meets Femi, a small, curvy Nigerian woman, his world is turned upside down. Available on Kindle “Sure?” “Yep.” Twenty minutes later they’re sat in a pool of their own […]

Lifestyle

Breath play : an introduction to the exciting world of hanging, bagging and choking

Girl with rope around neck for BDSM breathplay

Choking, hanging and plastic bags are all toys for the BDSM practice of breathplay. How to play safely when you want to be choked.

Commentary

Can we start talking about domestic abuse in a gender free way?

Girl with rope around neck for BDSM breathplay

Domestic abuse isn’t just about men abusing women. We need to have the discussion in a gender free way to battle stereotypes and support victims.

Lifestyle

Rape play : the dynamic of consensual non-consent

The rape fantasy is one that lurks uncomfortably in the minds of many in the BDSM scene. It is a pure, almost animalistic scene where the power of the Dominant overwhelms the submissive, who has to surrender completely. All talk of consent, of respect for limits, for the subtle power plays within a scene are […]

Lifestyle

6 things to do when your submissive breaks down in tears

During a scene emotions can run high, so high in fact that a submissive is overwhelmed and breaks down. They’ll burst into tears, go deep into themselves or even have panic attacks. Whatever the trigger what the Dominant does next can have a profound effect on them, on you and on the relationship. 1. Don’t […]

Lifestyle

What happened to safe, sane and consensual?

Safe. Sane. Consensual Three words that were drummed into me when I discovered this crazy world. Gimps, Mistresses, Masters and submissives all brought together in a love of latex. A collection of erotica for the dedicated rubberist. Available on Kindle Safe – don’t cause permanent harm or put them at risk of it; Sane – […]

Lifestyle

I dream of abuse and torture. Is there something wrong with me?

People on the floor in orange jumpsuits

Sometimes horrible events in the media can trigger our BDSM fantasies. Does this make us bad people, or just normal human beings with a sexuality?

Lifestyle

A beginner’s guide to negotiating a BDSM scene

Ebony dominatrix holds her submissive girls head up

While some of the “BDSM” erotica suggests all you have to do is put two people in a room with whips and chains the truth is far removed from that. Agreeing to play together can be a daunting prospect for both new and experienced players alike. There are questions about what sort of things should […]

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