Japan, swimsuits and being uncomfortable
Japan's preference for young girls posting in swimsuits can create a moral dilemma for fetishists. Are you sure that image isn't banned in your own country?
Master or slave? What role do I play as a fetishist?
Roles in BDSM can be fluid things. There are times when the most dominant of people crave moments of submission. This is how to satisfy those needs.
Extreme pornography: is your collection illegal?
I wrote this piece a couple of years ago, then it languished in my archive. With the recent furore around British politician Damian Green, I thought it was time for it to appear. The prosecution of Edward (Sen) Luo for the possession of “extreme pornography” concerned me more than a little. Initially the press bounced […]
Why do we have to be so damned binary?
Yes, I am dominant towards my partner and it’s always me who does the tying. I’m constantly thinking up new ways of tormenting and torturing her in entirely pleasurable and consensual ways as dominants do. When we eventually get round to playing again I have no doubt it will be her bound, gagged and begging […]
A letter to my neighbours: I am a rubberist. Don’t panic.
Dear Neighbours, There is nothing to be afraid of. I am just a rubberist. It means I get sexually excited by wearing latex and being with people who wear it too. It does not mean I am going to attack your children. Or ritually slaughter your cat. Nor rape you whilst you sleep in your […]
Preparing for a night out in fetish land
I’ll spend weeks building up to it. I keep telling myself “I’m going to wear the catsuit, I’m going to wear the catsuit.” The night comes. I eat dinner. I look in the mirror. OK, I’m wearing the jeans and loose shirt…
Dominants suffer from depression too
Dominants are strong, powerful people. We’re in control all of the time. We’ve a sharp mind and an inherent ability to read and understand the needs of our submissives. At least that’s the common view. The reality is that we’re as fragile as the rest of humanity. Of course we’re self-assured and confident to the […]
Is persecution back on the agenda for the kink community?
A crackdown on the fetish and BDSM communities seems to be happening. PayPal, Tumblr, even Twitter are showing kinky people the door.
Review: wearing a gas mask when you have a stinking cold
There’s a long standing joke about using a gas mask when you have a cold in order to protect everyone else. I figured I’d give it a try. It didn’t go well. First up: sneezing. Not a good experience, especially if (like me) your colds tend to involve streaming runny noses and gooey, sticky mucus. […]
A Dominant’s guide to dealing with the press (part 2: photographs)
With the mainstream media showing more interest in BDSM, it's important to understand how to supply images for press stories.
A Dominant’s Guide to Dealing With The Press
With so many blogs and publications in circulation it is almost inevitable that at some point you are going to be approached and asked for an interview. Being mentioned in the press is a great way to build a reputation, only few appear ready to deal with journalists. Having spent the past dozen or so […]
A good friendship was the price I paid
Twenty-odd years ago, when I was in my late teens and early twenties, if you asked me to define my sexuality I would have said I was a “rubber slave”. Like many men I’d paid to be dominated because it seemed like the only way to experience my fetish, only my heart wasn’t really in […]